September 8th is one of those days that will always be meaningful to me. It used to be that the date would not pass without a few moments of heartbreak; a few shaky breaths, a catch in the throat, tears just beneath the surface. Lately, it's become more likely that the 8th of September comes and goes without me noticing. Once the 9/11 remembrance stories begin, I realize I haven't marked my own, personal memorial of that day on September 8, 2001, when my friend, Andrew Holder, committed suicide at the age of 17.
Not this year.
When I think about Andrew, I remember such random little things. I remember how he used to draw hearts with his name and his girlfriend's name in every classroom copy of Romeo and Juliet in freshmen English. I remember how he was the type of guy who would carry your books for you and would keep you company when you were in trouble with your mom. I remember how much he loved animals and wanted to be a vet. I remember celebrating his 17th birthday - playing beach volleyball and getting teased mercilessly because we were horrible at chopping wood for the bonfire.
After his death, my high school recognized how important conversations about suicide were. For two years, my friends and I put on a "Suicide Prevention Week" to raise awareness about the warning signs of teenage suicide and provide resources for those who needed it. I volunteered with the Orange County chapter of Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention and spoke at other high schools about my friend Andrew. We encouraged people to use their "Yellow Ribbon Cards," which we would hand out at every high school we went to:
This September 8th, I can't help but feel a pensive melancholy. When Andrew died, I knew deep in my bones that the best way to honor his memory was to try to help those who needed it and prevent others from going through what we were experiencing. But as I've grown up, I've drifted away from that sense of mission. Other causes took priority in my life. And suicide continued to be a taboo subject in our society and even in our day-to-day lives, despite an increasing suicide rate in the US over the last decade.
Suicide has been in the news a lot lately. The WHO released their first comprehensive report on suicide last week, finding that "every 40 seconds a person dies by suicide somewhere in the world." They estimate that there are at least 800,000 suicides every year, although it is most likely under-reported. It is the second leading cause of death among teenagers and young adults between the ages of 15 and 29. It affects people of all nationalities, races, ages, gender, and socioeconomic lifestyle.
Almost a month ago, famed actor and comedian Robin Williams committed suicide. A few days ago, a member of the American pop group GRL (a group I had never heard of until today) took her own life. Due to high profile deaths like these, we are talking about depression and suicide more openly now. One of my favorite bloggers wrote a hugely powerful piece about his struggles with depression and he was not the only one to come forward with a story about mental health and suicide. Our nation is finally talking and it is time to create change.
We need to support politicians and legislation that increases money and resources for meant health services. Currently, only two states have laws that require suicide prevention training be included in mental health education programs: Kentucky and Washington. California could be the third - AB 2198 has passed through the state Assembly and Senate and is just waiting to be signed by Governor Jerry Brown. Email him and tell him how important it is that he signs this bill into law immediately.
Most importantly - we need to come together as a community and be better. Better at understanding the symptoms of depression and learn the warning signs for suicide. Better at asking people how they are and really listening to the answer. Better at checking in with that one friend who has worrisome Facebook or Twitter statuses and posts. Better at not letting family and friends withdraw when life gets tough. Better at really being there for one another.
If you yourself are struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts - reach out for help. There are an incredible amount of resources out there (see below) and always remember that you are NOT alone; you are loved and you are important.
Never forget - I am always here if you need to use your yellow ribbon card.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.save.org/
http://yellowribbon.org/
Not this year.
When I think about Andrew, I remember such random little things. I remember how he used to draw hearts with his name and his girlfriend's name in every classroom copy of Romeo and Juliet in freshmen English. I remember how he was the type of guy who would carry your books for you and would keep you company when you were in trouble with your mom. I remember how much he loved animals and wanted to be a vet. I remember celebrating his 17th birthday - playing beach volleyball and getting teased mercilessly because we were horrible at chopping wood for the bonfire.
After his death, my high school recognized how important conversations about suicide were. For two years, my friends and I put on a "Suicide Prevention Week" to raise awareness about the warning signs of teenage suicide and provide resources for those who needed it. I volunteered with the Orange County chapter of Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention and spoke at other high schools about my friend Andrew. We encouraged people to use their "Yellow Ribbon Cards," which we would hand out at every high school we went to:
This September 8th, I can't help but feel a pensive melancholy. When Andrew died, I knew deep in my bones that the best way to honor his memory was to try to help those who needed it and prevent others from going through what we were experiencing. But as I've grown up, I've drifted away from that sense of mission. Other causes took priority in my life. And suicide continued to be a taboo subject in our society and even in our day-to-day lives, despite an increasing suicide rate in the US over the last decade.
Suicide has been in the news a lot lately. The WHO released their first comprehensive report on suicide last week, finding that "every 40 seconds a person dies by suicide somewhere in the world." They estimate that there are at least 800,000 suicides every year, although it is most likely under-reported. It is the second leading cause of death among teenagers and young adults between the ages of 15 and 29. It affects people of all nationalities, races, ages, gender, and socioeconomic lifestyle.
Almost a month ago, famed actor and comedian Robin Williams committed suicide. A few days ago, a member of the American pop group GRL (a group I had never heard of until today) took her own life. Due to high profile deaths like these, we are talking about depression and suicide more openly now. One of my favorite bloggers wrote a hugely powerful piece about his struggles with depression and he was not the only one to come forward with a story about mental health and suicide. Our nation is finally talking and it is time to create change.
We need to support politicians and legislation that increases money and resources for meant health services. Currently, only two states have laws that require suicide prevention training be included in mental health education programs: Kentucky and Washington. California could be the third - AB 2198 has passed through the state Assembly and Senate and is just waiting to be signed by Governor Jerry Brown. Email him and tell him how important it is that he signs this bill into law immediately.
Most importantly - we need to come together as a community and be better. Better at understanding the symptoms of depression and learn the warning signs for suicide. Better at asking people how they are and really listening to the answer. Better at checking in with that one friend who has worrisome Facebook or Twitter statuses and posts. Better at not letting family and friends withdraw when life gets tough. Better at really being there for one another.
If you yourself are struggling with depression and/or suicidal thoughts - reach out for help. There are an incredible amount of resources out there (see below) and always remember that you are NOT alone; you are loved and you are important.
Never forget - I am always here if you need to use your yellow ribbon card.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
https://www.save.org/
http://yellowribbon.org/
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